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Few things have shaken me to my core as much as recent revelations about the so-called "Green Pact" the Wood Elves follow. This horrendous practice is not the peaceful, tree-loving way of life they have convinced us it is.
It. Is. Cannibalism.
I know, dear reader. It's shocking—but it's true. Everyone knows the Wood Elves don't farm or eat vegetables. So what do they eat instead? Meat. A lot of it.
And where exactly do you think that meat comes from?
Some Wood Elf apologists say they're hunters, that they keep livestock. But I know the truth. They gorge themselves on the flesh of their fallen foes! Sometimes they even eat each other!
After all, why else would the Wood Elves need to become such proficient hunters? Deer and wild boars are not very hard to catch. It's men and mer that are the most challenging quarry.
This is also why their Green Pact has such harsh punishments for the tiniest mistakes. Stepping on a flower in the presence of a Wood Elf will see you swiftly tried and trussed for dinner. When foes on the battlefield run short, they will acquire provisions by any means necessary.
This monstrous behavior dates back to the earliest myths about the Wood Elves. That's right—their terrible god, Y'ffre, blessed the act of cannibalism among the elves. The perversion of their beliefs runs deeper than the roots they claim to worship.
I shudder to think what a family meal in a Wood Elf settlement looks like.
I beg you, reader, for your own safety do not approach any forests known to harbor Wood Elf settlements. Stick to familiar dirt paths and cobblestone streets where their vines do not reach.
They are always looking for an easy meal, and lone travelers are particularly tasty.