Online:Hireling (Provisioning)

Elder Scrolls Online: Skills: Provisioning
ON-icon-skill-Provisioning-Hireling.png Hireling
Line Provisioning
Skill Rank Line Rank
Rank I 1 28
Rank II 2 38
Rank III 3 48
Hireling I: When you go offline, a hireling will find Food or Drink ingredients for you. Your hireling can be used every 24 hours.
Hireling II: When you go offline, a hireling will find Food or Drink ingredients for you. Your hireling has a higher chance of returning Spices or Flavorings. Your hireling can be used every 24 hours.
Hireling III: A Provisioner hireling will search for resources for you. A new delivery from your hireling can be claimed the next time you log in or change zones, provided it has been no less than twelve hours since the last bundle.

Hireling gives you a hireling, Gavin Gavonne, who will give you an assortment of Provisioning items every day. These will arrive in your mailbox as letters with attachments which must be claimed within 30 days or they will be lost. You do not receive shipments if you don't log on, so they won't pile up if you don't play for a few days (or use a different character). After Gavin exhausts his 100 messages, his aunt Nonette Gavonne takes over for another 100 messages, then Zukki-dar follows.

CorrespondenceEdit

Complete correspondence from provisioner hirelings as of 2017-10-13 is listed in the table below.

Hireling (Provisioning) Correspondence
Number Author Message
1 Gavin Gavonne My name is Gavin Gavonne. Thank you for this employment opportunity. I hope these provisions will prove useful. P.S. Do not concern yourself with the bloodstains on this missive. I was not seriously injured when I stumbled off of the precipice. My fall was broken by a thick patch of spinethorn nettles.
2 Gavin Gavonne I hope these provisioner components reach you in a timely manner. I got turned about in a strange swamp and lost one boot to the mud. The nearest wayshrine was a short walk, but a very long hop.
3 Gavin Gavonne I must apologize for the delay. I am traveling with a caravan of entertainers, primarily females. I am not used to girls, or their customs. They roll their eyes a lot, and seem to reply to everything by saying what? I only recently realized they do that to give you the chance to change what you said.
4 Gavin Gavonne I am happy to be back in civilization. I return to the city as I once entered this world--wet, hungry and completely naked. A word of advice. When you play dice with a Khajiit, do not wager your armor. Your components are enclosed.
5 Gavin Gavonne I hope these components reach you on time. I was delayed. I swore I would not return to that gambling caravan, but I found myself there once again, and I lost my wages. They told me I was gullible, so I had to go back. How else could I prove them wrong?
6 Gavin Gavonne Once again, my possessions and I came to a parting of the ways. This time I was set upon by bandits. Ah, well. As my grandfather used to say: "The more you have, the more you want. But the less you have, the wider the selection." I can only conclude that my future contains unlimited possibilities.
7 Gavin Gavonne Good day, my friend! Here is your delivery. My clarity of mind has improved considerably since out last correspondence. I believe this to be the result of daily meditation; a practice that I have recently taken up. I find it vastly preferable to sitting around doing nothing.
8 Gavin Gavonne I decided that meditation is not for me, and thought I might take up the study of music. I found an Orc merchant specializing in musical instruments of every type. I asked him for a recommendation. He sold me a blunt instrument and told me to knock myself out. I was a half day's ride from him before I got the joke.
9 Gavin Gavonne I hope this delivery finds you well. I purchased a mandolin and I'm teaching myself to play. In fact, today I wrote a song on cats. That may have been a mistake, because verse number three got run over by a wagon. Next time I'll use parchment.
10 Gavin Gavonne I got caught in two rainstorms yesterday, and then a hailstorm, which is hard rain that hurts and puts dents in your armor. Bad weather always surprises me. I'm glad I'm not a pessimist, because I don't think I'd be a very good one.
11 Gavin Gavonne As I gathered components for this delivery, I got to thinking about moths. Why do you only see them at night? I'm not saying that they're vampire butterflies, but I started carrying extra toothpicks, just to be safe.
12 Gavin Gavonne Another fine lot of provisioner components are enclosed. I decided to give up on music shortly after a drunken Nord smashed my mandolin. Looking for a new hobby, now. I thought about taking up juggling, but I don't have the balls. Any suggestions?
13 Gavin Gavonne The thing I hate the most about traveling in Tamriel are the damnable gnats, buzzing in my ears and stinging my flesh. Someone told me that the buzzing is the mating call of male gnats, but only female gnats bite, so now I get more nervous when I don't hear anything at all!
14 Gavin Gavonne Here is your delivery. I am now going to take a hot bath and consider why traveling only seems like an adventure in retrospect.
15 Gavin Gavonne Your daily delivery is enclosed. It occurs to me, in my travels, that the rest of Tamriel is filled with just the sort of people I try to ignore at home. And the worst of it is, in their lands, I'm the tourist.
16 Gavin Gavonne Last week I learned some of the Khajiit language from a Baandari trader. I hoped it would be useful, but thus far I have been unable to make them understand their own language. Do they not have schools? Anyway, here is your delivery.
17 Gavin Gavonne I am sorry for the late arrival of this delivery. I broke my arm in two places and had to seek a healer. The healer's advice was to stop collecting crafting materials in those two places.
18 Gavin Gavonne I asked a wise mage about the meaning of life. He said "Insignificant beings go about their affairs, unaware that a god-like being could wipe them out with something as casual as a scratch of its head." I asked "That's the meaning of life?" "Sorry," he replied. "I thought you said lice." "That's okay," I replied. "I wanted to know about lice, too."
19 Gavin Gavonne In my travels, I seem to be running across ravenous wolves all too often. They rarely attack on sight, but if they want to catch you and eat you they can. I understand that this doesn't happen too often, but--and I am told that this is the important thing to remember--once is almost always enough.
20 Gavin Gavonne Another delivery is enclosed. I noticed that my correspondence to you seems to be the only writing I do with any regularity, so I decided to keep a personal journal to record my thoughts. As it happens, I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think. I may take up drawing.
21 Gavin Gavonne I have never been a religious man, but I've taken to visiting shrines and temples of late, to educate myself about the various dieties of Tamriel. After weeks of careful study, I have come to the conclusion that everybody seems to worship the gods that hate the same people they do. Curious.
22 Gavin Gavonne Waxing philosophic on the road today. I see Dark Anchors everywhere and the drums of war filling the air, and I find myself growing more and more pessemistic [sic] about Tamriel's future. What if today turns out to be the tomorrow I worried about yesterday? Also, I am quite drunk.
23 Gavin Gavonne While gathering these components I happened upon a priest of Stendarr. He told me that we are born into this life to help others. I said that if that is true, then why are the others here? He kicked me in the shins. God of Merciful Forbearance my arse.
24 Gavin Gavonne Ducked into a tavern to get out of the rain and have a hot meal. The food was terrible and the service was worse, but I honestly didn't mind. It made me feel better about not having enough coin to leave a tip. Your components are enclosed.
25 Gavin Gavonne I've had many close calls on the road with highwayman, ferocious animals, and monsters of every description, and yet I still continue in this line of work. Why? I'm not sure. I'm no hero, believe me. I just figure that death is inevitable, and the day I die will be a day like any other. Just a bit shorter.
26 Gavin Gavonne Here are your provisioner components. I will make this letter brief, as I have come down with an infuriating case of the hiccups. In an effort to scare myself, and thus relieve my condition, I am planning to enter a crypt that is reportedly haunted. Wish me luck.
27 Gavin Gavonne Your delivery is enclosed. My hiccups continue, unabated. This makes hunting difficult, as the animals can hear me coming. The crypt was indeed haunted, and I now find myself in need of a cure for the hiccups and a fresh pair of trousers.
28 Gavin Gavonne I'm curious what the most prolonged case of hiccups might be, for surely my condition is unparalleled. I have tried breathing into a sack, eating a spoonful of honey, drinking the juice of pickled cucumbers, pulling on my tongue, and hanging upside down. None of these have worked. I may seek the counsel of a mage.
29 Gavin Gavonne I am successfully hunting once again. The mage cured my hiccups, but he cannot revert my ears to their original size. On a positive note, my hearing has never been more acute.
30 Gavin Gavonne I am traveling with a Nord. We visited a tavern and a fly landed in my mug. I plucked it out and kept drinking. Then a fly landed in the mug of a Wood Elf. He set it aside and ordered a fresh mug. Finally, a fly settled in the Nord's drink. He plucked the fly from his mug, held it in his open palm and screamed, "Spit it out, you greedy horker!"
31 Gavin Gavonne Today, Clavicus Vile appeared and offered us three wishes. The Nord shouted, "Mead!" and a large mug of mead appeared. He drank it down, and it was instantly refilled. "Shor's bones, that's terrific!" he exclaimed. Vile smiled. "And two wishes remain." "Well," said the Nord, "Give us two more of these!" I am beginning question his priorities.
32 Gavin Gavonne A word of wisdom from one who learned a thing or two in his travels: no matter how much your drunken companion might encourage it, never, under any circumstances, should you moon a werewolf.
33 Gavin Gavonne The Nord and I have parted ways. We'd been drinking, and he told a Breton joke, which I politely laughed at. Then I said, "What's the difference between a Nord wedding and a Nord funeral?" "I don't know," he said. And I replied, "One less Nord!" The healer says it was a clean break, and my arm should be fully mended in a few weeks.
34 Gavin Gavonne My friend, I have wondrous news! I am in love! She is a dainty, sweet thing, full of caring and honesty, and she has the bluest eyes I have ever seen! I may propose marriage this very night! A selection of quality components is enclosed.
35 Gavin Gavonne I managed to acquire your components, but did so with a heavy heart. Upon waking, the sweet young thing to whom I proposed marriage was nowhere to be found. I fear she was abducted in the night by the very same villains who made off with my coin purse. I will not rest until I find her again!
36 Gavin Gavonne I finally found my betrothed working in a house of ill-repute. She was not the bright-eyed lass I remembered, and immediately the wise words of my beloved mother came to me, from so many years ago. "You shouldn't have picked that up," she told me, "you don't know where it's been."
37 Gavin Gavonne Here are your components. I don't know if I've told you this, but I appreciate the trust you continue to impart to me. This is the best job I have ever had. I am paid just enough to avoid quitting, and work just enough to avoid getting fired.
38 Gavin Gavonne I try to keep your components varied and plentiful. Towards that end I have been trying to fish more frequently. I find it quite relaxing, as well as an excellent excuse for drinking while the sun is up.
39 Gavin Gavonne I've been enjoying fishing. Though I'm not very good at it, it gives me time to think. After some time, and some mead, I began to feel a kinship with these strange gilled creatures. We are very much alike. We both get into trouble when we open our mouths.
40 Gavin Gavonne My fishing expeditions have only been marginally successful. Recently I met a wily Argonian who said that a fisherman is really just a jerk on one end of a line, waiting for a jerk on the other. I should hunt more.
41 Gavin Gavonne Apologies if these components are late. Rather uncomfortable today. I went into the woods to answer nature's call, and grabbed a handful of leaves to clean up. It was a small, glossy green plant with three leaves. I may have made a rash decision.
42 Gavin Gavonne It always amazes me how many people leave books scattered in the wilderness. Most of those I've stumbled upon are scholarly works and dry histories, but today I found a book of fiction that intrigues me. It is entitled "The Lusty Argonian Maid." I may stay at a common house tonight, and read it in my bunk.
43 Gavin Gavonne Here is your delivery. "The Lusty Argonian Maid" is a work of genius. Truly a classic that will almost certainly survive the ages. I wonder if there is a sequel. There were many unanswered questions.
44 Gavin Gavonne I never seem to pack enough sweetrolls.
45 Gavin Gavonne Last night I stumbled upon a group of revelers who greeted me as though I were expected. They gave me strong drink and many claps upon the back, and we had a grand time. I awoke with a curious tattoo. It appears I am now a member of a fraternal organization called "The Morag Tong." They seem like fine fellows. I hope I run into them again.
46 Gavin Gavonne Here are your goods. I don't know how, or why, but I seem to be acquiring a reputation of sorts. Strangers wink at me, as though they know me. Shopkeepers offer me discounts. I don't know what I did to deserve such respect, but I am truly honored. I wonder if those Morag Tong fellows have something to do with it?
47 Gavin Gavonne A hooded stranger appeared in the dead of night. I knew I could trust him, for he bore a tattoo like mine. He gave me with a scroll bearing the name of a local villager and told me he was a Mark, although the name on the scroll was Farfal. I promised that I would pay this Mark Farfal a visit, and give him the regards of the Morag Tong.
48 Gavin Gavonne Well, this Morag Tong membership continues to pay great dividends! This Mark Farfal fellow opened his home to me, fed me and gave me a large sum of gold! A strange fellow, what with that nervous twitch of his, but quite agreeable. Your components are enclosed.
49 Gavin Gavonne A quick note along with your delivery. I must leave this area rather quickly, having discovered the true nature of the Morag Tong. Would you happen to know of a reliable person who can remove a tattoo?
50 Gavin Gavonne Today I discovered, on a dare, that there is no easy way to milk a Guar. Your provisioner components are enclosed.
51 Gavin Gavonne Here is your delivery. I wonder, do you know anything of Khajiit etiquette? What is the proper way to respond when your host coughs up a hairball at dinner?
52 Gavin Gavonne My latest traveling companion insisted on traveling at night, which was quite inconvenient and upsetting to my sleep cycle. I began to have my suspicions when he would leave the road to go hunting and return hours later with nothing to show for it. He swore up and down that he didn't know what a vampire was, then one morning it suddenly dawned on him. Have you any use for vampiric ash?
53 Gavin Gavonne Today I saw a spider so big and hairy it looked like it was wearing a wolf pelt. Is that even possible? Your components are enclosed.
54 Gavin Gavonne I awoke this morning feeling regretful that I haven't seen my beloved family in years, but it passed when I remembered that the reason I became an adventurer in the first place was that I really can't stand my beloved family. Especially Alphonse.
55 Gavin Gavonne As it turns out, Dark Elves are generous hosts when they aren't trying to kill you. Your provisioner components are enclosed.
56 Gavin Gavonne A traveling merchant sold me a fine piece of armor called a pauldron. I don't know if it's supposed to go over my knee or my elbow, and I was too embarassed [sic] to ask him. I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that life would be much simpler if I didn't try to understand things. It was a real bargain, though.
57 Gavin Gavonne I saw a Daedra for the first time. I can't get the image out of my head. For three nights running, I haven't been able to sleep at all. I feel pretty good, though. Just a little light headed. Trying to keep my wits about me and remain sane, so when the trees start talking to me, I refuse to talk back.
58 Gavin Gavonne Sold that paldron thing at a nice profit, so I took on a big, burly sellsword just in case I run into more of those Daedra. He's got a big scar and an eyepatch, and he doesn't talk much. He said his name is Immaterial. That's a strange name, isn't it? Components enclosed.
59 Gavin Gavonne Turns out the sellsword's name is "Kull." He doesn't talk much. I asked about his family, and he said "Dead." I asked if he was married. He said, "Twice. Both dead." I asked if he had many friends. He said, "Just you." That made me nervous. Maybe he thinks a friend is just an enemy that's still alive.
60 Gavin Gavonne Here are your goods. Interesting development. Kull saved my life. We were attacked by Orc marauders, and he took all six of them down without breaking a sweat. Maybe he is my friend.
61 Gavin Gavonne Today Kull informed me that he's returning to the city to take up the study of flower arranging. I'm going to miss the big lug, but we must all follow our passions.
62 Gavin Gavonne I love Tamriel. It's just the people I can't stand. Components enclosed.
63 Gavin Gavonne Another meager delivery. It rained all night and the road is a muddy slog. I don't know if I'm over it, or used to it, but it's not bothering me as much as usual. Also, drunk again.
64 Gavin Gavonne Close call on the road. A group of bloodthirsty Goblins passed so closely, they almost discovered my hiding place. I'm not afraid of death, mind you. I'd just like to avoid being there when it happens.
65 Gavin Gavonne Traveling with another caravan, this time Baandari traders. I don't think these Khajiit like me. I've never been a cat man. I grew up with dogs. I think the Khajiit can tell this with one glance. Once nasty, sidelong, vindictive glance. Your delivery is enclosed.
66 Gavin Gavonne Here are your components. I do not like these Khajiit. They are sarcastic and crude and do not appreciate my better qualities. Today over lunch I tried to build a sense of camaraderie by inviting them to sing a bawdy tavern song. My overtures were brutally rejected.
67 Gavin Gavonne One of the Khajiit put a lizard in my bed roll. It's difficult to laugh at a practical joke when your whole life feels like one. Your delivery is enclosed.
68 Gavin Gavonne I hope this delivery finds you well. The Khajiit gave me some sweet candy called moon sugar, and now I can't feel my lips.
69 Gavin Gavonne After two straight days of consuming liquor and moon sugar, I awoke to find that the Khajiit took to the road while I slept, abandoning me. I also can't find my pants.
70 Gavin Gavonne The city guard arrested me and questioned me for hours, all because I arrived at the gates with no pants. They finally determined that I was harmless, and even gave me an old pair of tattered leggings. It must be Morndas. I've always hated Morndas. Delivery enclosed.
71 Gavin Gavonne Here are your components. I took a hot bath for the first time in months. It was very relaxing, until I noticed I had six toes on one foot. I panicked, sure that I'd been the victim of a dreadful curse, and went to see the best, most expensive healer in the city. Turned out it was just a blister.
72 Gavin Gavonne Another delivery for you. Rough day. I barely escaped another Brigand attack. Despite what the locals might tell you I did not "run like a scared rabbit." More like a brave and noble rabbit, who happened to be late for an appointment.
73 Gavin Gavonne I hope someday we'll all be able to put away our fears and prejudices, and just make fun of Nords. (Delivery enclosed.)
74 Gavin Gavonne Your delivery is enclosed. Is it just me, or does every woman in Tamriel have severe emotional problems?
75 Gavin Gavonne I heard you were fighting against the forces of Molag Bal. You know, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him. Good luck! Delivery enclosed.
76 Gavin Gavonne Sorry, I overslept. I hope these components still arrive in a timely manner. Sometimes I think that the only thing standing between me and achieving greatness is, well... me.
77 Gavin Gavonne Here are your provisioner components. Interesting day. I got into a tavern fight. I really gave him a good shot to the knee with my chin, then got blood all over his fist, with my nose. That will teach him.
78 Gavin Gavonne Writing this from a tavern, drinking mead and getting philosophical. I don't think I'll ever find true love. And neither will that toothless Khajiit over there. Or the lady with the mustache. Or pretty much anyone at table three.
79 Gavin Gavonne Your next delivery is enclosed. I met a woman named Helga, and we had a torrid love affair that lasted all night. When we awoke and I gazed upon her in the light of the morning sun, she looked deep into my eyes and told me she wants to get married. I hope she meets someone nice.
80 Gavin Gavonne Your provisioner components are enclosed. Interesting news. I just received a letter from my brother Alphonse. Apparently he was thrown into the King's dungeon for something he didn't do. He didn't run fast enough.
81 Gavin Gavonne On my way to mail this, I noticed a city guard was following me. When I confronted him, he told me I was just being paranoid. That's impossible. I'm the opposite of paranoid. I suffer from delusions that people like me.
82 Gavin Gavonne Your deliveries are enclosed. Though it is not definite yet, I am considering signing up for the military so that I can support our alliance's efforts in Cyrodiil. I will let you know as soon as possible, so that you can find a suitable replacement.
83 Gavin Gavonne Please ignore my previous correspondence. I have decided not to join the army in Cyrodiil. Although I am firm in my beliefs, I decided that it would be a mistake to die for them, because what if they're wrong? Your components are attached.
84 Gavin Gavonne I'm glad I decided to keep working for you. You continue to be a generous employer. They say that money isn't the key to happiness, but I figure, if I save up enough I can just have a key made. Your delivery is enclosed.
85 Gavin Gavonne I'm mailing this package and getting out of this city as quickly as possible. It's filled with criminals and thieves. The back alleys are so dangerous, you can get stabbed while you're getting stabbed. Must run, now. Being chased.
86 Gavin Gavonne Sorry if this delivery was delayed. I got lost in the woods last night and had to use the stars to get my bearings, which got me lost further north.
87 Gavin Gavonne Your delivery is enclosed. Yesterday I was hunting in the vicinity of the village where I grew up, so I stopped by to visit with my mother. She had a nice talk.
88 Gavin Gavonne Back in the city today. I hate city people. I can tell how judgemental they are just by looking at them. Your components are enclosed.
89 Gavin Gavonne Here is your shipment. I hope it meets your needs. I decided to spend some of my savings to equip myself with better weapons for hunting and self defense. I got a new two-handed sword and a sturdy bow. I also got a new knife, but that's just in case of cake.
90 Gavin Gavonne Found another lizard in my bedroll. I hate lizards. They're creepy, especially chameleons. When you stop and think about it, at any given time, there's no way to know how many chameleons are right in plain view. Your delivery is enclosed.
91 Gavin Gavonne I have an in-grown toenail and a huge pimple on my nose. And it just started raining. And my backpack split a seam. When I said, "Can this day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge to the Divines.
92 Gavin Gavonne Here are your components. I don't know why, but I seem to attract traveling companions that never stop talking. And the whole time all I can think is that I wish they'd finish so I can tell my own story that's not just better, but also directly involves me.
93 Gavin Gavonne As I entered the city to mail your components, I noticed an unusual amount of politicians in town. Perhaps it's something to do with the war in Cyrodiil? Politicians are easy to spot. You can tell them by the complete vacancy occupying the space where their faces should be.
94 Gavin Gavonne I bought a book about rare herbs in the hopes of increasing the quality of the components I've been gathering for you. The book is rather technical. Before I read it, I was confused about rare herbs. Now I'm still confused, but on a much higher level.
95 Gavin Gavonne Here are your components. It astonishes me to think that you create delicious foods out of such simple substances. Cooking is as mysterious as alchemy to me. I never had fine foods growing up. Mother doesn't cook, she burns.
96 Gavin Gavonne It occurs to me that the collecting I do for you usually only takes up half of my day. That means I am fully employed half the time, so it follows that I am a part-time unemployee. It also explains why I am usually drunk by mid-afternoon. It's mid-afternoon. Can you tell?
97 Gavin Gavonne Your provisioner components are enclosed. I wonder, have you ever tried cooking with wine? I find it quite pleasing. I've even heard that some people add it to the food.
98 Gavin Gavonne I ran into Helga, the woman who shared my bed some time ago, and we spent another night together. If she were a pair of boots I would wear her out. I just wouldn't wear her out in public.
99 Gavin Gavonne I wish I could afford a mount. I imagine the best thing about traveling on horseback is that you no longer have to step in the mess other people's horses leave behind.
100 Gavin Gavonne Enclosed are your provisioner components. I hope you find them useful.
101 Nonette Gavonne A good day to you dearie, and I hope this finds you well. My name is Nonette Gavonne. My dear nephew Gavin has had an unfortunate ... incident with an Argonian maid. He is to be confined in bed for many months, I hear. The family has asked I take up his contract, and I hope I will serve you in good stead.
102 Nonette Gavonne Please find your materials enclosed, dear. Apologies if it takes me a bit to get organized. Gavin was far more interested in taking notes on houses of ill repute and brew quality in taverns than in the best places to procure provisions. Helga. That boy.
103 Nonette Gavonne It's been a bit of an ordeal adjusting to life on the road. Hunting and gathering and skinning is all just fine, dear. Don't mistake me. The shock has been remembering how hard it is to find a decent cup of tea.
104 Nonette Gavonne After days in the wood, a night in Daggerfall was pure pleasure. A bath and a soft bed were worth every coin. Imagine my surprise when I found a man murdered the next day! The city watch is talking with every guest at the inn. Hopefully these provisions still reach you.
105 Nonette Gavonne Things have turned out quite intriguing here, dearie. The murdered man was an Earl in King Casimir's court. He was here with his four daughters, all of whom have a different story about what happened.
106 Nonette Gavonne My keen eye for rare herbs and nervous game has proven useful, it seems. I've been some help to the investigators with the city watch. I also managed to put together another round of provisions for you. In the meantime, I think I know what happened to the Earl!
107 Nonette Gavonne I was right! Two of the Earl's daughters conspired to kill the old man and collect his wealth. The look on their faces when I explained things to the city watch was precious. Quite the little adventure! I look forward to the open road again.
108 Nonette Gavonne Back on the road and enjoying the fresh air. I hope the provisions I've sent along meet your needs. It's curious how often fine foods are made from foul places. The sweet meats of beasts have proven delicious traveling fare.
109 Nonette Gavonne I'm learning the road is not without its dangers, dearie. A brigand accosted me yesterday, threatening my life and my latest shipment to you. Luckily I was in the middle of my afternoon cup, and scalding hot herbwater deterred him from his path. I followed up with a sharp blow from my walking stick, and left him insensate in the trees.
110 Nonette Gavonne After the unpleasantness of the other day, it was a balm seeing a waterfall today. A few Argonian lads enjoyed it as well, sliding and leaping from its height. Plunging to the pool below, swimming with their tails. Having no tail myself, I can only speculate what that's like ... seems most useful. Unless you're buying a pair of breeches.
111 Nonette Gavonne Dearie, hope the provisions today find you well. I've caught a sniffle from a hard rain on the trail, and I'm writing this curled up near my campfire. Have a pot of saltrice brew bubbling on some hot rocks. Not looking forward to what comes next, but I'm a big girl. I can handle it.
112 Nonette Gavonne Though the saltrice was quite disgusting, it's done just the trick and I'm back on the trail again. Walking with my head held high and enjoying the sunlight makes me feel half my years. Enjoy your provisions today ... I feel quite proud of their quality.
113 Nonette Gavonne Last night in a tavern I met a curious little Wood Elf. He was quite friendly, but had dubious taste in libations. He introduced me to a drink called Rotmeth ... a kind of stew beer full of unidentified meats. It tooks a few sips to get used to. But you know what, dearie? This old lady quite likes it! Mmm.
114 Nonette Gavonne The last few days I've been traveling with an adventuring band. It's very pleasant to talk with fellow travelers. Apparently they have plans to go sorting through a small cave nearby, and they've invited me to come along. They say there may be treasures worth finding down there. How exotic!
115 Nonette Gavonne Well that was quite exciting! Dearie, have you ever seen a Goblin? Strange little creatures all dressed in simple cloth, rarely bathed and very cranky. They remind me a bit of Gavonne and his siblings when they were younger, actually.
116 Nonette Gavonne I hope these provisions find you well. I managed to collect some of them exploring that cave with my new friends. We stumbled on a cavern full of surprisingly frisky skeletons. Now, I'm no expert, but I thought that dead people ... well, that they lay down.
117 Nonette Gavonne Well that was bracing! I write you from a drawn bath, steaming away my aches and bruises from the last few days. I'm not sure I'd attempt such an excursion again any time soon, but my cohorts walked away with a dear treasure. A mask of some kind. I hope they find success in the great city markets.
118 Nonette Gavonne These provisions today were dearly won, and I hope they find you well. I encountered a group of strangely dressed men and women in the woods today. They were muscled and shaggy, and had a strange glint to their eyes. I made excuses and quickly returned to the trail. I do not wish to see them again.
119 Nonette Gavonne I must be doing something right, as the broker that handles our contract has given me something of a bonus! I can only assume I'm meeting your needs, and I thank you for any kind words you may have put in his ear. Use today's shipment in good health, and may the Eight watch and keep you.
120 Nonette Gavonne I've decided to buy some ink and parchment with my bonus. I've seen some fascinating things in my travels, and I feel others may find my descriptions the same. Who knows? Perhaps someday the Mages Guild may find my scribblings worthy of distribution across Tamriel!
121 Nonette Gavonne You may or may not know this, but we provisioners make contacts as we go. Foraging in the wilds will only get you so far. Procurement in cities and towns along my route is essential to making sure I fulfill our contract. This is a long way of saying, if you meet a provisioner Najkeem, slap him and mention my name. He'll understand why.
122 Nonette Gavonne Staring up at the sky this evening, I'd swear some of the stars are missing. It's the strangest thing. I know, as a girl, there were points of light in one part of the sky that don't seem to be there anymore. Must be a trick played by an old woman's brain. Still, something fanciful to ponder as I lay on my bedroll tonight.
123 Nonette Gavonne May today's provisions be tomorrow's great meals! As I write to you I find myself wondering what adventures you're up to. Crawling through caves, fighting off fearsome Daedra ... makes me glad I have my quiet little life. I'm not sure I'm cut out to be a swordswoman at my age!
124 Nonette Gavonne I received a letter from Gavonne when I stopped into town today. Sounds like he was on the mend, but ended up in some kind of elaborate scheme with a local cowherd and a traveling minstrel. I'll spare you the tedious details, but it sounds like he's going to be confined to his bed for a time more.
125 Nonette Gavonne I'm sorry if this letter finds you tardy, but I've been elbow-deep in a challenging contract of late. Please find your provisions enclosed, and if any of them are smeared in pig fat you have my sincere apologies.
126 Nonette Gavonne Dearie, I'm pleased to say I've been taken on as a cook at a large estate. It's a unique opportunity for me, and will allow me to gather higher quality provisions for you in the future. Just today, for example, I was out in the lush gardens behind the main house picking ingredients. A delightful start to the week.
127 Nonette Gavonne I never mentioned why I was hired on at the estate, did I? Traveling the other day, I came across a man standing next to a cart with a broken wheel. He was quite upset, because his wife was in the midst of giving birth. I happily lent my hands to the cause, and he was so grateful he hired me on the spot. The Eight smiling down on me!
128 Nonette Gavonne Let it never be said that good fortune is given freely, dearie. I fear my time at the estate is already drawing to a close. The child I helped to bring into this world, it turns out ... bears little resemblence [sic] to the lord of the manor. His gratitude has turned sour, and I feel I may soon outstay my welcome. The drama of the road, I suppose!
129 Nonette Gavonne Back on the open road, and happy to be here. I feel particularly good about the provisions I have for you today. I gathered them in a beautiful forest with a bubbling spring and prancing deer. They were a challenging hunt. I sit this evening enjoying a fine venison steak ... I've lived well today.
130 Nonette Gavonne I treasure the few nights I get to share a campfire with a friendly stranger. Last eve I shared a pot of stew with an Altmer of the Summerset isles, roving the land searching out ancient ruins. As hard as my work can be, at least I know where to look. Imagine trying to find the leftovers of long-gone cities? Amazing.
131 Nonette Gavonne My Elven friend has invited me to join him in exploring an Ayleid ruin. He found references to its location, deep in the forests, by following scraps of clues scattered across a dozen tomes. Fascinating! I've never seen what a fortress of the Ancients looked like before!
132 Nonette Gavonne Dearie, the sights I've seen today! Glowing stones, magical columns of light, whole walls that shift at the push of a switch ... the Ancients were a magnificent race. If their ruins are use [sic] to measure them, at any rate. I even found you a few provisions before we went in. I hope they serve you well.
133 Nonette Gavonne Adventures in the dark certainly do work your legs! After exploring through several wings of the lost city, my friend cracked the seal on a long-closed doorway. Within the Ancients had left behind a number of guardians. Magical beasts slaved to protect their ancient libraries. I led the charge back to the surface!
134 Nonette Gavonne I parted ways with my Elven friend this evening. Despite our brush with danger, I quite enjoyed his company. I'm left with some unique memories and detailed charcoal rubbings. I'm very grateful for the parchment and writing implements I have in my knapsack. What a story this will make!
135 Nonette Gavonne I was wading hip-deep into a stream to collect some delicious provisions for you (hope you like them, by the way), when an elemental spirit rose up in front of me. She stared at me for a long moment before snatching the net and fish from my hands and disappearing back into the water. What a world we live in!
136 Nonette Gavonne The procurement agents of Skyrim are an honest and helpful lot. The quality of goods I receive never fails to impress. The only real problem I have is that they insist on a round of drinks after every transaction. In most towns, I speak to a few provisioners in a day. This is a lengthy way of saying that I cannot feel my face. Loves, dearie!
137 Nonette Gavonne It's sometimes hard to see the line between untouched wilderness and the grounds of an estate. Today I learned what it's like when a Jarl's men come out of nowhere and seize you for poaching. I hope this missive finds you, as I'm currently sitting the local village's lockup. Eh ... exciting!
138 Nonette Gavonne Sitting in the holding cell, I overheard the local guardsmen talking about a shocking development. Murder is a blow in any community, but the death of someone in a small town rattles everyone there. With my experience as a tracker, and the keen eye of a provisioner, I offered my assistance.
139 Nonette Gavonne I hope these supplies make for delicious meals, dearie. I'm free of my cell, out and about in town. I've spent the last few days talking to the villagers, investigating the death of the local blacksmith. He was stabbed in the back with his own dagger, if you can believe that!
140 Nonette Gavonne As my grandmother used to say, the stew thickens! The blacksmith had been seen making time with several of the local ladies. His wife, of course, did not appreciate that kind of thing. That makes the wife the most likely to have done the deed ... but things are sometimes not what they seem. I will investigate further.
141 Nonette Gavonne My instincts were right! Though a number of the women in town had reason to see him dead, the blacksmith was killed over a business dispute. He shorted the local mining company coins year after year, and it finally caught up with him. The provisioner's eye sees the truth once again!
142 Nonette Gavonne My aid to the town guards earned my freedom, and so once again I enjoy the brisk air and crisp cobblestone paths of Skyrim. It's quite interesting how different the grains and fruit of different lands taste. I hope these newly source provisions make for fresh and tasty meals!
143 Nonette Gavonne The high country is truly breathtaking, when you stop to take it in. Most people my age think of the wilds as forbidding, suicidal to explore. I've found that with a kind demeanor and a sturdy pair of boots, Tamriel is a very welcoming land.
144 Nonette Gavonne In letters from home, my sister is constantly asking why I do this. In her mind, walking paths so far from home must be some kind of punishment. Just the opposite! Today I had the luxury of cooking and brewing with an extended family of jovial Nords. The only challenge was learning when to duck when they began throwing kegs to each other.
145 Nonette Gavonne On the road again, and thoughts of supper with the Nords make my stomach rumble. Herbed rabbit sausage in fennel gravy! Frothy golden brews, freshly tapped from massive kegs. Game birds stuffed with wild grains and fruit, roasted over a pit fire. Mmm. Makes my humble onion stew seem paltry in comparison.
146 Nonette Gavonne I feel particularly good about this cache of supplies, dearie. May it serve you well. The borders of the Ashlands are highly fertile. One must just be willing to look in unconventional places. The mushroom forests are far more lush than a conventional provisioner might consider.
147 Nonette Gavonne Fulfilling your contract is a pleasure, dearie. A daily meditative act that allows me to focus on the more ... esoteric challenges I must face. For example, acquiring netch milk. Milking those floating beasts is enough to make me question my choices in life.
148 Nonette Gavonne I spoke with a traveler today who turned out to also be a contractual gatherer! I traded him some honey brittle for a very fine pair of boots, and we talked about the vaguaries [sic] of the business. It was nice to speak with another professional. So few really understand the trials we face.
149 Nonette Gavonne A torrential rain is sweeping through the region, and I find myself with a few days within the walls of a rather nice inn. Dark Elf architecture is a bit austere for my tastes (more of a thatched roof woman, honestly), but this place is actually rather cozy. I'm using this as an opportunity to begin scribbling on my parchment in earnest.
150 Nonette Gavonne I've delved into my stores to provide your provisions. I hope my offerings meet your standards! As the rain dances on the rooftops, I'm pages deep into my first manuscript. So far I've focused my writings on my time as a young woman in the Stormhaven aristocracy. All that drama and intrigue seems so foolish now.
151 Nonette Gavonne I've spent some time now thinking back to my time as a foolish little maid dancing in the festhalls [sic] of Wayrest. All of those nights blend together, but what I do remember is making for delightful writing. I'm certain Gavonne would be scandalized if he were ever to read this. Luckily for me, my nephew is not much for reading.
152 Nonette Gavonne From my time in Wayrest to my time in exile, my scribblings continue. When the family was cast out of the heartland it took quite some time to adjust. The best of everything, the glamorous dresses and expensive foods. It was over a year before I got the hang of making even a simple stew.
153 Nonette Gavonne I've cleared out the last of my stores for this shipment, dearie, but fear not! The weather has finally cleared. Meantime I've begun chronicling the family's small steps towards a new life. It fills me with pride to think back on how the family rallied around my father's vision for a wilderness trading coster.
154 Nonette Gavonne The Ashlands are in full bloom after the protracted rain, and the smell of life fills the air. Gathering provisions and blooming plants go hand in hand, of course. Expect the next few shipments to be particularly choice!
155 Nonette Gavonne Ahh, nothing quite like clearing your lungs after being cooped up inside. I rather think there's something spiritual about travel. Waking with the dawn knowing you'll be falling asleep under different trees, with different sights fading in the evening light. Makes you feel blessed by the Eight! Or at least, makes me feel that way.
156 Nonette Gavonne An old friend is running procurements on the border of Shadowfen, and offered to be my guide. I've known her practically since she was an egg. Such a pleasure to see her all grown up with a full head of feathers. One of the nice things about getting old, dearie. You get to see how people turn out!
157 Nonette Gavonne Talk of the Pact has filled my ears these last few days. My guide is a staunch proponent of the alliance between her people and the Dark Elves. I'm glad she's happy, but the few Dunmer I've seen in the fens don't seem to have gotten the message. They still had that arrogant smirk when they spoke to any Argonian local. Hmph.
158 Nonette Gavonne The Argonian people are very proud of their cuisine, and I hope some of their unique culinary taste comes through in today's shipment. It takes some time to adjust, but dishes like crawdad salad or swamp eel pie really are a delight. The only thing I can't recommend is the dish called Wriggles-in-Gullet. Yech.
159 Nonette Gavonne I spent the day working a saltrice field, seeing firsthand how this staple is cultivated. The pretty people of the big cities think it a disaster if mud sprays their dress. Meanwhile, the people of this village work most of the day fully bent over, tending to a crop that feeds three provinces. Priorities, dearie.
160 Nonette Gavonne I hope my shipment arrives intact and dry, dearie. Much as I care for the people of the fens, the constant ... moistness wears on a person. I've stopped off in a temple complex full of Argonian contemplatives. Their architecture is breathtaking, and their dedication extreme. My plan is to spend a few restful days in the cloister.
161 Nonette Gavonne My hopes for quiet days at the temple have been dashed. I was taking a late walk last eve, and stumbled upon a dead monk! I had just leaned down to examine the body when a trio of temple guards came round a corner and saw me there. The monks now consider me a murderer! It's been all I can do to keep their knives from my throat.
162 Nonette Gavonne Once again I find myself in the middle of an investigation. This time there are no kindly guards to help me along. I spent the better part of a morning explaining myself to the monks, and I think they believe I am not a threat. I've been given a chance to prove my innocence. I'll just have to make the most of it.
163 Nonette Gavonne The dead man was a respected member of the order, it seems. I didn't realize it that evening, but his death appears to be some kind of ritual slaying. If I hadn't been paying attention I probably would have tripped over his displayed body. The slashes, the blood, the sigils ... it's all quite curious.
164 Nonette Gavonne My careful observations and pointed questions have led me to one conclusion: Argonian monastics are a secretive bunch. No one claims to know anything about the monk's death ... but my inquiries have made me aware of an ancient menhir near the temple grounds. I believe it merits further investigation.
165 Nonette Gavonne A bit of excitement last night, dearie! It turns out the menhir was in use by a foul cult, some of its members infiltrating the temple caretakers. Luckily for your old girl, my time on the road left me up to the challenge of fleeing for my life! The loyalist monks rallied and put down the cult, and everything seems to be forgiven. Thank the Eight!
166 Nonette Gavonne While I'm grateful I could help the monks find justice, I turned my ankle quite badly running from those madmen. My plans to continue through the fens seem folly now, so I'm making for the coast by cart. I'm to board a ship for Elsweyr. I've arranged for provisions to continue through my procurement specialists in the meantime, of course.
167 Nonette Gavonne Sailing from a Shadowfen port is always challenging, but my ankle in a brace has made everything all the more complicated. It's for the best, though. I find myself quite wearied by the swamp, and the required rest of a few days at sea will be welcome. This evening we tack south across Topal Bay, then west along the coast.
168 Nonette Gavonne I had not even considered time at sea would allow for writing. I've carved out a cozy little nook in the back corner of this cargo hold. Rice sacks for pillows, and my foot propped up to heal. I'm using a hatch cover as a writing desk ... and honestly I couldn't be happier. I find I truly do love time with my scribbles.
169 Nonette Gavonne I've taken up the story of my father's trading coster, again. Writing it down, it's strange to think how difficult things were. I did much of what I do now for you. Traveled the back country, finding sources for our new clients ... I learned so much in such a short time. Far more than in all my life as a daughter of Wayrest.
170 Nonette Gavonne Putting together this pack of provisions made me think of my first hunt, dearie. And so I set to scribbling again. I think the first time I took down a stag was a watershed moment for me. I'd never had blood on my hands before ... and there I was turning that beast into steaks for our clients.
171 Nonette Gavonne My father started the business that saved our lives. Writing about his death ... or the feeding frenzy that followed ... I have no interest. Gavonne's father, as you might have surmised, emerged the one with a controlling interest. It's been years. So long, that when my nephew asked me to fulfill his contract I didn't think twice.
172 Nonette Gavonne We've arrived in port, and I'm very grateful to be back on dry land. My time at sea was good for my leg and bad for my head, as walking proves much easier and keeping an upbeat attitude much harder. I'm hoping a return to the road will clear my mood, and allow me to stretch my muscles.
173 Nonette Gavonne Apologies if my last few missives have got you down. My family's past is not light reading, and I feel my letters are more welcome when I speak positively. So, know today that I've had a wonderful time on the road. Collecting provisions for you again (hope you enjoy) has cleared my head and restored my cheer.
174 Nonette Gavonne The sand dunes and savanahs of Elsweyr are a dramatic change from the Argonian fens. The Khajiit, too, are about as different in spirit as you could hope to see from the lizard-folk. Gregarious, friendly, and traders in deliciously sugary treats ... dearie, I am glad to be here.
175 Nonette Gavonne The cities of the Khajiit are so different than those of High Rock. I know my father would have called them camps, but I can see the simple beauty in their design. I spoke to one man who had traveled to my homeland as a trader. He said by contrast, his people see the buildings of my people as cages. Points of view, dearie.
176 Nonette Gavonne The cat-men of Elsweyr are a friendly lot, and their procurement agents are no exception. Unlike other cultures that speak broadly about food, the Khajiit sample their wares as they show them off. As part of the conversation, I must as well. If I can manage to stand up tomorrow morning, I shall have some lovely items to send your way.
177 Nonette Gavonne Today marks a third day in the company of my Khajiiti procurement hosts. My only context for feasts like this are the new year fetes held at the family manor. You ate well knowing that it was one day out of the year. I now find that the idea of anything richer than trail bread is curdling my stomach. It's a new, not very welcome, sensation!
178 Nonette Gavonne The sampling of sweetmeats, wines, brandies, candies, pheasants, ducks, venison, veal, syrup rolls, honey cakes, cordials, milks, and teas has finally come to a close. I've eaten enough in the last few days to fuel a walk around Nirn! I plan on nibbling broth and bread the next few days, and trying not to think of how much moonsugar I've consumed.
179 Gavin Gavonne My friend! Your humble servant Gavin returns! After much searching I have joined my dear aunt on the road. Strange how hard it was to follow in her footsteps. No matter, please enjoy the enclosed supplies!
180 Gavin Gavonne Over my aunt's objections, I did all of our bargaining today in the language of the Khajiit. I could barely understand them, but we still managed to get our business done. It's very sad how poorly these cat-men speak.
181 Gavin Gavonne It is wonderous to be on the road again. Such a change of pace. At home we ate weak stew and old bread to save goods for shipping. On the road I eat weak stew and old bread for totally different reasons!
182 Gavin Gavonne Another delivery for you! Enjoy. I'll be honest, Auntie is a stick in the mud. She doesn't understand my jokes, ignores my business advice, and hardly ever wants to start fights. She also drinks far less than I, which seems a mistake.
183 Gavin Gavonne My friend, I'm very sorry to say, but I'll need to hand my contract back to Auntie Nonette. We received word from home that my mother is very ill. Alphonse, my good-for-nothing brother, still rots in the king's dungeon. Thus it's up to her favorite son to see her along the path to health. Until next time!
184 Nonette Gavonne I am ... very glad to be alone on the road again. Dearie, I hope you won't think ill of me. But that letter from my sister was a fake. Gavin is a ... very challenging man. In fact, if any of shipments have reached you the last few weeks I will be very surprised. I am a bad aunt, I know this. But he would not. Shut. Up!
185 Nonette Gavonne Alone on the road again, and I'm happy to report a great shipment for you today. My headache has cleared, the twitch in my eye has left, and the nightmares have stopped. When I am not being actively tortured, my proficiency at gathering supplies is much greater!
186 Nonette Gavonne I've reached the edge of the savannah, and Valenwood looms before me. It will be nice to walk in the shade again, and already the variety of supplies is a delightful change of pace. I hope to find a Bosmer village to trade a few unique supplies. I also wouldn't mind some more of that Rotmeth. Meat beer! Who knew?
187 Nonette Gavonne Forest magic stiffens your spine in the morning! I went to sleep in a clearing, on my bedroll and under my travel blanket. Just like I've done hundreds of times since I hit the trail. I awoke to find myself in a large cavern, with some kind of tree-spirit leaning over me. Tree-spirit breath smells like mushrooms. I just thought you should know.
188 Nonette Gavonne These supplies were picked in the cavern of a forest guardian, dearie. I hope they serve you well. It turns out the forest spirit smelled moonsugar in my pack and was drawn to me. It couldn't speak, per se, but it communicated through some kind of mind-magic. Who knew that spirit beasts had a sweet tooth?
189 Nonette Gavonne The spirit took me on a journey through the depths of the wood. We saw sights I don't think I can adequately describe, and the pure light of the spirit world has reflected into my soul. The lights told me of the past, the future ... I met my spirit beast, and it looked into my soul.
190 Nonette Gavonne Dearie, you must accept my deepest apologies. I checked my stores and it's clear I've been sending you provisions, but do not remember having done so. As best I can tell, the cakes I carried away from the Khajiiti feast were spiced with something stronger than moon sugar. If I said anything strange in my last few missives, I am deeply sorry.
191 Nonette Gavonne Now that my head is a bit clearer, I've enjoyed the hospitality of the Wood Elves. Their practice of eschewing plants at the table reminds me of raising Gavin. When he was a child he insisted on meats and nothing else. For me, trips to the outhouse clarify the need for a balanced diet.
192 Nonette Gavonne I hope this shipment meets your needs, my friend. I'm making my way to the coast, looking to board a ship north. A far and wide as I've cast my net for you, I feel the need to return a bit closer to home. Hopefully Gavin will forgive me for my little lie on the road. If not, I'm sure I can find a sparkly rock to distract him.
193 Nonette Gavonne We've put in at Sentinel for a stopover. The richness of the marketplace will hopefully translate to rich goods for you. I'm struck by how formal many of the Redguard people are. They remind me of my grandmother, actually. Only they have curved swords.
194 Nonette Gavonne The architecture of Sentinel is breathtaking! The domes, the curved arches, the rich colors. I wish I had an artist's hand, so that I could translate these graceful buildings to my journal. I'll just have to satisfy myself with fond memories and my sister's incredible jealousy.
195 Nonette Gavonne It seems wherever I go, little mysteries follow me! A couple I met selling peppers in the marketplace was very distraught. When I asked them what was wrong, they confessed to me that their young son had gone missing. I've offered my assistance to the couple. We shall see where this leads!
196 Nonette Gavonne Nothing is ever simple, dearie. I asked around the marketplace and the boy just seems to have vanished. We did hear quite a story from one of his friends, that he'd disappeared in a cloud of sand. I'll follow this lead, I suppose, but little boys are about as believable as smitten teenagers when it comes down to it.
197 Nonette Gavonne The wonders of Alik'r! I followed the story of the sand cloud to the local Mages guildhall. Apparently there are little zephyrs that run around the dunes, dancing and bouncing like children escaping their mothers. I think one of these little creatures may have tried to make a new friend. We shall see!
198 Nonette Gavonne The boy is home safe, I'm happy to say! A day of walking the outskirts with some candies led the wind creatures right to me. From there I followed them back to the dune hollow they called home. The lad didn't even realize there was a problem! His little friends had been bringing him sweets and tasty roots to nibble. The world we live in.
199 Nonette Gavonne I hope this shipment is delicious, my dear. I put special care into my selections, as I am now on a ship heading home. I look forward to more work fulfilling your contract, but for now I need to see my family, hear my sister's nagging voice. Even the obnoxious bleating of my nephews sounds like home right now.
200 Nonette Gavonne And here it is, I'm home in beautiful Daggerfall city. I'll make my way to the Gavonne homestead tomorrow, but I wanted to be sure to pack you up a package full of care today. Dearie, my trip for your contract has been a chance of a lifetime. I can't wait to see where it leads me next!
201 Zukki-dar Greetings. This one is called Zukki-dar, or simply "Zukki." He is a Baandari Trader by profession. Zukki knows little of what he is selling, save that he is charging a great deal too much for it, but as he travels the land he will look for items that might be of interest to you.
202 Zukki-dar Zukki travels with a caravan of other Khajiit. We are all from Senchal on the Quin'rawl peninsula of Elsweyr. We have many young ones, and we take them everywhere. Zukki has no idea how they find their way back. Your components are enclosed.
203 Zukki-dar These young Khajiit are so full of lies and bad manners. Zukki would turn them away if they didn't grow up to be such good salesman. Here is your delivery.
204 Zukki-dar Zukki is training a young Khajiit named Tavah. That one would sell you something, steal it back, then sell it to you again. It is not only dishonest, it is highly profitable. Zukki admires that.
205 Zukki-dar Here is your delivery. It is this one's turn to cook for the caravan. Zukki enjoys cooking with moon sugar. Sometimes he even adds it to the food.
206 Zukki-dar Tavah's training continues. Today's lesson is to start the day off with a smile. That way it is over and done with. Tavah learns quickly.
207 Zukki-dar Many Khajiit distrust the other races. This is bad business. Zukki has no prejudice. He dislikes everyone, equally. Your delivery is enclosed.
208 Zukki-dar This one is growing tired of the young ones. Kittens are rude and disrespectful, and they are always threatening to run away. This is the only thing that keeps Zukki going.
209 Zukki-dar Today the group passed a group of fat mercenaries, huffing and puffing their way down the road. They claimed to be "separatists." This one thinks they should try separating themselves from their sweetrolls.
210 Zukki-dar You may have noticed by now that sarcasm is only one of the many services that Zukki offers. He also specializes in mockery and open derision.
211 Zukki-dar Zukki recently noticed that some Argonians are easily irritated and inclined to resent it if you poke them with a stick. He also discovered that you can find out which ones by poking them with a stick.
212 Zukki-dar This one believes he has determined the proper number of times you can ask someone to repeat themselves before simply nodding and pretending you understood. Three.
213 Zukki-dar It recently occurred to Zukki that his sarcasm is so advanced that stupid people think he is stupid, as well. Consequently, he has been inadvertently making alot [sic] of friends. He hates them all, but he has no idea how to show it.
214 Zukki-dar If these Khajiit do not wish to hear a snarky reply, why do they keep asking Zukki stupid questions? Here are your components.
215 Zukki-dar It is Zukki. Do you remember him? Oh, wait. This one forgot that he only exists in your world when you need something from him. Take your delivery and choke on it.
216 Zukki-dar Forgive Zukki's last outburst. He ran out of wine, which is vital to maintaining his ability to suffer the idiots who surround him. He has corrected this shortfall, and he is currently in the planning stages of a monumental hangover. In the meanwhile, here is your delivery.
217 Zukki-dar This one can be annoyingly acerbic at times. He knows it's a character flaw. However, Zukki recently noticed that his caustic demeanor unintentionally frightens small children, so it may not be entirely without merit.
218 Zukki-dar Here is your delivery. It is always such a pleasure for Zukki to serve you. (For future reference, since it is so difficult to infer tone in a written correspondence, you should just assume that Zukki's are all dripping with sarcasm.)
219 Zukki-dar This one is loathe to admit it, but as an employer, you are actually beginning to grow on him. Zukki wishes you could travel with him occasionally so we could hate the same people.
220 Zukki-dar Zukki has decided that the reason he hates all people is because he considers himself to be the best of them, and he know precisely how bad he is. Your delivery is attached.
221 Zukki-dar Zukki's philosophy of life is to screw unto others before they screw unto you. In accordance, today's delivery contains stolen goods. (Trust Zukki. They did not deserve them.)
222 Zukki-dar If Zukki were ever to marry, he would marry a female who loves the outdoors. This way, if Zukki decided to lock her out for the night she would still survive. This one is not without compassion.
223 Zukki-dar The caravan spent the night in the city, which is always a chore. This one never underestimates the power of idiots, expecially [sic] when they gather in large groups. Your components are enclosed.
224 Zukki-dar Zukki is no bigot, but he thinks Argonians are the most pernicious race of odious vermin that the Divines ever suffered to crawl upon the face of Nirn. But to their great credit, at least they aren't Nords.
225 Zukki-dar It occurs to Zukki that you might think him ungrateful for his continued employment, based upon the pessimistic tone of his letters. He will attempt, in the future, to be more optimistic. Forgive him in advance for his almost certain failure in this endeavor. Zukki feels certain he will make a terrible optimist.
226 Zukki-dar This one does not enjoy traveling with a caravan, but at least it affords him some protection along the road. Our guards are fairly competent, and might even dispatch an enemy, provided their weapons are pointed just so and the enemy falls upon them in just the right way.
227 Zukki-dar The caravan was attacked, but Zukki escaped with minor bruises. It would have been a poor death, anyway. Surely the Divines have something prepared for Zukki on a larger scale. Something with manacles, sharp blades, and a few hundred cheering spectators.
228 Zukki-dar This one really isn't a curmudgeon. He can be very charming if people would just do what he asks of them. Here is your delivery.
229 Zukki-dar Between people trying to cheat him and people trying to accost him, Zukki feels certain that he has become Nirn's principle means of employment. The entire economy of Tamriel appears to be based on ruining Zukki's day. And that is on a good day.
230 Zukki-dar Much as he has tried, this one simply cannot be optimistic about anything. But then, Zukki does not recall anything in his job description about being willing to poop sunshine on demand, so you will just have to deal with it. Also, this one is out of wine again.
231 Zukki-dar Why is it that people seem to take such pleasure at feeling superior to others? Zukki is glad he is not one of them. He is far better than that. Here is your delivery.
232 Zukki-dar This one enjoys long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy him. Here is your delivery.
233 Zukki-dar Zukki does not know why he works so hard to make others dislike him. It happens quite naturally without all that effort.
234 Zukki-dar Zukki is drinking and musing on the nature of morality, while the tavern keeper naps. What is just, Zukki wonders, and what is dishonest? Perhaps the distinction lies in what is right, and what one can rationalize. Wine puts Zukki in a better mood, therefore they won't miss a bottle or two.
235 Zukki-dar This one is thinking about life's great unanswered questions. The greatest of these must surely be, 'What is in it for Zukki?' Your delivery is enclosed.
236 Zukki-dar This one is people-watching in the city. This one has noticed that there are two kinds of people in this world. Zukki doesn't like either of them.
237 Zukki-dar There is a stray dog following the caravan, and it fascinates Zukki. One can learn many things from a dog, including loyalty and perseverance. Also the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
238 Zukki-dar Zukki has been feeding the dog and growing quite attached to it. It never talks about itself, and when Zukki talks about himself, the dog always looks interested. Also, it growls at the young ones and makes them cry.
239 Zukki-dar The dog does not leave this one's side now, which is convenient should the need arise for him to bark violently for no reason, right in Zukki's ear.
240 Zukki-dar A Khajiit spends a lot of time on personal grooming. Dogs do not. This dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll in a pile of rotten fish. The dog is also very shaggy and unkempt. This one is surprised how often the dog gets up and Zukki realizes he has been speaking to the wrong end.
241 Zukki-dar The dog left Zukki and ran off with a necromancer, presumably for the bones. Zukki is sad at this development, but he should have known better than to trust an animal that is surprised by its own farts.
242 Zukki-dar Zukki is another year older today. He may not move as fast as he used to, but he cannot regret getting older. It is a privilege denied to many.
243 Zukki-dar Being a year older has gotten Zukki to thinking about retiring from the hard life of the road. The trouble is, he has no other useful skills or talents. Perhaps he could go into teaching?
244 Zukki-dar This one hates growing old. Zukki's whiskers are white and his bones are weary. He is getting so old he is afraid to buy green bananas. Why does old age come at such a bad time?
245 Zukki-dar Did this one already mention that he does not like children? They are loud and sticky. But Zukki has learned many things from them, like how much patience he does not have.
246 Zukki-dar This one has never married. He recently heard that married people live longer, but Zukki doesn't believe that. He thinks it probably just seems longer.
247 Zukki-dar Zukki has decided that the reason he uses sarcasm so much is because it keeps him from telling people what he really thinks about them.
248 Zukki-dar This one lives every day as if it was his last, because one day he will be right. But Zukki is ready to meet his makers. Whether his makers are prepared to meet him is quite another matter.
249 Zukki-dar Zukki wonders about the future. What does it hold for him? Where will it take him? He thinks perhaps the future will be just like the present, only more expensive.
250 Zukki-dar Has Zukki ever told you about his brother Yakku, who was borish and spent his youth bullying Zukki? Word has come that Yakku passed away. He was involved in a tragic fishing accident. Zukki did not attend the burial, but he sent a nice letter saying that he approved.
251 Zukki-dar The caravan leader keeps a box for lost and found items. Yesterday the box went missing, so Zukki is being very careful not to lose anything until it is found.
252 Zukki-dar Zukki meets many Nords in his travels. They may look like idiots and talk like idiots, but do not let this deceive you. They really are idiots.
253 Zukki-dar Have I mentioned the Khajiit named Naamah? She travels with the caravan. She is very popular with all the young males, and she knows that. Every night she visits a different bedroll. One might say that she climbed the ladder of popularity wrong by wrong.
254 Zukki-dar The female called Naamah continues to annoy this one to no end. This is probably because she lacks the power of conversation, but not the power of speech. Every time she opens her mouth, Zukki gets a fierce desire to be lonesome.
255 Zukki-dar Zukki will never understand humans. They work hard to earn gold, and then spend it on things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. How does this make sense?
256 Zukki-dar Today was Naamah's turn to cook. She asked Zukki, 'Do you want some dinner?' 'What are Zukki's choices?' he asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied. Zukki is beginning to like her. This worries him.
257 Zukki-dar Another bandit attack on the road. Zukki believes that there are two kinds of people in this world: those who draw steel and stand up for themselves and those who run for the bushes. Bushes are better. They also offer shade.
258 Zukki-dar Why are these Altmer so serious? They never smile or laugh. If they find it so hard to laugh at themselves, Zukki would be pleased to do it for them.
259 Zukki-dar Zukki has had a very satisfying and productive day. Unfortunately, this was not it. Nonetheless, he has enclosed your delivery.
260 Zukki-dar This one is pleased to say that he has no enemies, but he will admit that he is intensely disliked by his friends.
261 Zukki-dar When Zukki was a kitten he used to pray for candy. Then he realized that the Divines do not work that way, so he stole some candy and prayed for forgiveness. This one is very good with finding loopholes.
262 Zukki-dar In all his travels, Zukki has learned many wise things. But the wisest of all is this: 'Often the best thing to do is nothing, and nothing is always a clever thing to say.' The young do not understand this. Zukki doesn't know why he keeps making mistakes if these kittens refuse to learn from them.
263 Zukki-dar There is so much crime and wrongdoing in these lands. This frustrates Zukki. He wishes either that there were less wrongdoings, or that he had more of a chance to profit from them.
264 Zukki-dar Among the Khajiit, there is a saying. 'A true friend does not stab you in the back.' Zukki does not have many friends, but he is pretty sure that all of them would all stab him in the front.
265 Zukki-dar This one does not like politics, nor does he trust politicians. When he was a kitten, he was told that anyone could become Emperor. He is beginning to believe it.
266 Zukki-dar Zukki is used to bad luck and hard times. A seer once told him that he will have a sad life and a sad death. This was very useful because he knew to lower his expectations. Also, Zukki appreciates symmetry.
267 Zukki-dar Zukki is trying to be healthier. He is eating leaner meats, exercising more, and he has cut down on the wine and the moon sugar. Already, in just fourteen days, he has lost two weeks.
268 Zukki-dar This one never believed in luck, but recently he has been reconsidering. Zukki has no other way to explain the continued success of the idiots who surround him.
269 Zukki-dar Namah invited Zukki to a party in the city. He agreed to go, but he is not looking forward to it. What is the point? Surely not for Zukki to enjoy himself. If that were the purpose, the host could have sent wine and moon sugar to Zukki's camp by wagon and saved him the long walk.
270 Zukki-dar Zukki is writing from the party. It is a most boring affair. When this one is the most interesting person in the room, it is time to leave. But, Zukki's wine glass keeps being refilled by a serving girl, so he has decided to see how intoxicated he can get and how many people he can mock.
271 Zukki-dar Namah ran off with a Nord she met at the party. He was very impressive. Seldom has Zukki ever experienced such a small mind in such an enormous head.
272 Zukki-dar Zukki has decided that parties are just sad excuses for idiots to drink excessively and rub against each other in the hopes of distracting themselves from the meaningless emptiness of their pathetic lives. This one is shocked. All this time, he thought they were without value!
273 Zukki-dar On the road there are good days, and bad days. This means that some days Zukki will be cranky, and on other days he will be really cranky. Today he is really cranky.
274 Zukki-dar This one is having trouble sleeping. Last night he lay awake, staring at the stars, asking himself, 'Where has Zukki gone wrong?' Then he heard a little voice speak to him. The voice said, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
276 Zukki-dar Zukki finally got some sleep last night, but he had a dream that he had insomnia. When he woke up he was exhausted, but far too well-rested to go back to sleep.
277 Zukki-dar Zukki may be old, but he is not senile. If he burns the whole caravan down it will be on purpose, but he will be sure to send your delivery first.
278 Zukki-dar There is a good side to being as old as Zukki. People tend to treat you like an idiot, so you can get away with acting like one from time to time. It breaks up the day.
279 Zukki-dar This one has gained weight, and has been drinking too much. Also, his back hurts. If Zukki knew he was going to live this long he would have taken better care of himself.
280 Zukki-dar It was Zukki's turn to do the dishes tonight. He didn't do a very good job. This one realized a long time ago that if he does a job badly enough, sometimes he doesn't get asked to do it again.
281 Zukki-dar Sikka is one of the caravan guards, and he is always bossing Zukki around like he is the smartest Khajiit in the Mundus. A Khajiit who thinks he knows it all is especially annoying to those of us that do.
282 Zukki-dar This one is still angry at his beautiful young Khajiit mistress for not existing. Your delivery is enclosed.
283 Zukki-dar The caravan met up with a troupe of traveling circus performers, but they turned out to be criminals who tried to rob us and we had to fight them off. Zukki did very well because he thought quickly. He went right for the juggler.
284 Zukki-dar Khajiit have no sense of humor. A young one traveling with the caravan got put on limited rations because his mother said he was getting fat. So I said to her, 'You've got tubby kitten!' Khajiit have no sense of humor.
285 Zukki-dar Your delivery is enclosed. Did I mention the female called Namah grew tired of the Nord she ran off with? She has returned to the caravan, but she still wants nothing to do with Zukki. She says that Zukki is too condescending. Isn't that adorable?
286 Zukki-dar This one wishes the other Khajiit would just leave him alone. Zukki swears, one day he will snap and strangle one of them. He is reminded of the old Khajiit saying, 'You can attract more flies with honey if you pour it over a dead body.'
287 Zukki-dar Zukki was forcibly removed from a local tavern and told he should never come back. In his defense, the tavern had a sign that said, 'Wet Floor.' Here is your delivery.
288 Zukki-dar The caravan stayed in town last night so Zukki treated himself to a feather bed at the local inn. This one asked the innkeeper for a wake-up call. When he got to his room, there was a note on his pillow that read, 'You're not getting any younger, you know.' Zukki hates innkeepers.
289 Zukki-dar Why is it that every time Zukki opens his mouth, some idiot starts making speeches? Here is your delivery.
290 Zukki-dar This one thinks that Khajiit females should stop having kittens at forty, because Dark Moons! That is a lot of kittens!
291 Zukki-dar The caravan camped along the beach last night, and Zukki gathered mudcrabs for dinner. There are many ways to prepare a mudcrab, but this one just likes to yell, 'You are going to die!' before dropping them in the boiling water.
292 Zukki-dar Namah says I should eat healthier foods. Why would I do that? Even the healthiest Khajiit is just dying the slowest. Here is your delivery.
293 Zukki-dar Namah is infuriating. Zukki hates it when she asks him to drop everything just because he is doing nothing, because he was thinking of doing something and now he forgets what.
294 Zukki-dar This one has come to the conclusion that his true purpose in life may simply be to serve as a warning to others. Your delivery is enclosed.
295 Zukki-dar Zukki found a big jug of strong mead. This one does not know whose jug it is, but he swears he will get to the bottom of it.
296 Zukki-dar Why do they put the dye merchant right next to the potion merchant? Zukki just wanted a little extra stamina. This one dyed a little inside.
297 Zukki-dar This one met a female minstrel that said she was a harp player, but Zukki noticed she was picking, not plucking. Lyre!
298 Zukki-dar You see the strangest things in the city. Yesterday, Zukki saw a Sorceror turn into a tavern. This one made a joke. He is not surprised you didn't get it.
299 Zukki-dar This one has many irrational fears, but Zukki's greatest fear is that he'll never get over all of his phobias. Here is your delivery.
300 Zukki-dar The caravan met another group of traveling circus performers, but these were not criminals, they were actually somewhat entertaining. But Zukki quickly became bored and his mind wandered. Soon he found himself obsessed with an odd thought. What do circus performers run off to join?

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